Dafydd Llyr Ifan - Writer & Actor

Dafydd Llyr Ifan
Writer & Actor

 Four years ago something happened which changed the course of my life forever, something which would affect the way I would live for the rest of my life. Four years ago, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Hearing those words devastated me. My first thoughts were that my life was over, that my dreams and ambitions would never be achievable and that I would have the most miserable and depressing life possible. I am not ashamed to say that I cried a lot that night.

If I am completely honest, I had known for a few weeks that I was diabetic. I knew the symptoms; incredible thirst all the time, constantly needing the toilet, not eating, losing weight, mood swings... I experienced all of these and lost a dangerous amount of weight. But I refused to go see my Doctor, mainly because of my immense fear of needles and injections. The thought of having to inject myself every day for the rest of my life terrified me and was something I didn’t think I could cope with. My mother begged me to go to the doctors for weeks, and eventually I agreed to go and take a urine sample with me; if for no other reason than to stop her constant nagging. Looking back I realise that in forcing me to go, my mother saved my life that day. My mother told me a few months after being diagnosed that on the day I was admitted into Hospital the Consultant had taken my mother aside and informed her that had we have waited a few more days there was a high chance that I would have died.     

The night I was diagnosed was probably the worst night of my life. I spent 10 hours in a tiny windowless room in A&E hooked up to four different drips with Doctors and nurses appearing every hour to take blood samples, urine samples, blood sugar tests and so on in order to see just how ill I was. My first blood sugar test reading was 20.0, which was extremely high. By midnight I was absolutely shattered and just wanted sleep, I didn't care anymore how many needles they were prodding me with. Even during the night I just let them take blood whenever they wanted. By now, I was starting to overcome my fear of needles.

One of the nurses who treated me that day told me that: 

“The day you are diagnosed will be the worst day, but afterwards there is only one way things can get... And that is better.”

At the time I didn't believe a word she was saying. It wasn't her that was hooked up to four different drips or feeling weak and scared. This was happening to me, and at the time it felt like things would just get worse and worse. But now I know that things do get better, and that life doesn't have to change so dramatically. My dreams are still the same, and my ambition is, if something, even greater than before I was diagnosed. You may feel alone, helpless and hopeless, but trust me the worst is definitely over after the first night. I am still here, four years later and I am LOVING life!

Dafydd (also known as Llyr) is the author of www.Lifeissweet.org.uk